9/10 The face is a bit off and the nipples are weird somehow, not to my liking I guess.
I can understand your opinion on that pic now. Yeah, it is very basic and could use a bit more of the stuff you said to give it some life, I don't mind because I'm someone who also likes basic/rushed sketches if done well. The pic you used for comparison definitely feels more alive, with some action even though it's also very basic.
This pic is a good example of how much you can express in art with enough care. In this board the immediate reaction would be "They don't have dicks.", but if you take the time to take in the whole pic, scenario included, you'll notice why it is like that: The little lighting, how low it is in the sea, their cold breath, the red skin on several parts of their bodies, their small dicks and scrotum which is also closer to their bodies instead of hanging low, all these details tell the story of the scene this pic depicts, that being that they went for a swim in the sea in the cold early morning. It's something so simple, but I'm sure it took quite a bit of work to get everything right and I definitely appreciate the effort put into it. This is one of the reasons kemukemuke is one of my favorite artists.